NASA sedang mewawancarai tiga orang profesional untuk dikirim ke Planet Mars. Hanya satu orang yang akan pergi ke sana dan tidak bisa kembali ke bumi lagi.
Pewawancara bertanya pada pelamar pertama, seorang insinyur, berapa banyak ia mau dibayar. "Satu juta dollars," jawab sang insinyur. "Aku mau menyumbangkan semuanya itu untuk almamaterku."
Pelamar berikutnya adalah seorang dokter. Setelah ditanya, ia menjawab, "Dua juta dolar, aku ingin memberikan yang satu juta dolar kepada keluargaku dan satu juta dolar lagi untuk pengembangan penelitian medis."
Pelamar terakhir adalah seorang pengacara. Saat ditanya berapa banyak ia mau dibayar, ia berbisik pada si pewawancara, "Tiga juta dolar."
"Mengapa jauh lebih banyak daripada yang lainnya?" tanya si pewawancara.
Pengacara menjawab, "Kamu beri saya tiga juta, aku akan memberimu satu juta, aku sendiri akan ambil satu juta, dan kita kirim si insinyur ke Planet Mars."
Friday, February 5, 2010
Flatten Daddy's Stomach
A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mum on top of his dad bouncing up and down, and retreats. The mum sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen, she dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mum and asks' "What were you and dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help to flatten it."
"Your wasting your time," say's the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mum puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it back up again."
The son sees his mum and asks' "What were you and dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help to flatten it."
"Your wasting your time," say's the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mum puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it back up again."
Meaning of "Tragedy"
President George Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the classes (4th grade). They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Bush, "that would be an ACCIDENT."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteered. President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If an American Air Force plane, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Bush, were struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, by a terrorist like Osama bin Laden, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic," exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss".
The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Bush, "that would be an ACCIDENT."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteered. President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If an American Air Force plane, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Bush, were struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, by a terrorist like Osama bin Laden, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic," exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss".
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tomato..Lettuce..Mayonnaise..
A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately, he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9 years old.
One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.
As you might expect things start to heat up. The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a new position.
"Lettuce!!!"
"Tomato!!!"
"Lettuce!!!"
"Tomato!!"
"Lettuce!!!"
"Tomato!!!"
She screams.
"Lettuce!!!"
"Tomato!!!"
"Whoa!!!"
"PULL IT OUT!!!
"PULL IT OUT NOW!!!"
"I can't get pregnant!"
Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!*!*!*!*!"
One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.
As you might expect things start to heat up. The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a new position.
"Lettuce!!!"
"Tomato!!!"
"Lettuce!!!"
"Tomato!!"
"Lettuce!!!"
"Tomato!!!"
She screams.
"Lettuce!!!"
"Tomato!!!"
"Whoa!!!"
"PULL IT OUT!!!
"PULL IT OUT NOW!!!"
"I can't get pregnant!"
Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!*!*!*!*!"
Mississippi
A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'
The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed
pig,' she retorted indignantly. In this country, we don't speak
aloud in public places about our sex lives.'
Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a
justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '.'
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'
The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed
pig,' she retorted indignantly. In this country, we don't speak
aloud in public places about our sex lives.'
Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a
justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '.'
Who is the new leader of China?
Let me introduce the main character in this story
Condi rice (Condoleeza Rice) - National security advisor
Kofi Annan - Secretary-General of UN
Hu Jin Tao - New Chief of the Communist party in China
Yassir Arafat - President of Palestinian Council
George W Bush - Current president of USA..
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm ask ing you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on
the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.
Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East.
Condi rice (Condoleeza Rice) - National security advisor
Kofi Annan - Secretary-General of UN
Hu Jin Tao - New Chief of the Communist party in China
Yassir Arafat - President of Palestinian Council
George W Bush - Current president of USA..
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm ask ing you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on
the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.
Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East.
Menampilkan hidden files
Sistem operasi Windows mengenal empat macam attribut file, yaitu hidden, archive, read only dan system.
Yang dimaksud dengan hidden file adalah file yang tersembunyi (secara default tidak kelihatan pada Windows Explorer). Anda bisa mengganti setting tersebut sehingga hidden file tersebut dapat terlihat atau tetap tersembunyi waktu dilihat dengan Windows Explorer. Caranya sebagai berikut :
Dari sembarang folder atau Windows Explorer, klik menu View, pilih Folder Options (untuk Win98) atau Tools, pilih Folder Options (untuk WinXP).
Pindah ke tab View.
Pada bagian hidden file terdapat tiga radio button.
Pilih Do not show hidden file, untuk menyembunyikan hidden file.
Pilih Do not show hidden or system file, untuk menyembunyikan hidden file dan file system.
Pilih Show all file, untuk menampilkan semua file termasuk hidden file dan system file.
Namun untuk keamanan file Anda, sebaiknya file-file system tetap disembunyikan. Hal ini untuk mencegah file tersebut terhapus secara tidak sengaja, terutama oleh orang yang baru belajar komputer.
Yang dimaksud dengan hidden file adalah file yang tersembunyi (secara default tidak kelihatan pada Windows Explorer). Anda bisa mengganti setting tersebut sehingga hidden file tersebut dapat terlihat atau tetap tersembunyi waktu dilihat dengan Windows Explorer. Caranya sebagai berikut :
Dari sembarang folder atau Windows Explorer, klik menu View, pilih Folder Options (untuk Win98) atau Tools, pilih Folder Options (untuk WinXP).
Pindah ke tab View.
Pada bagian hidden file terdapat tiga radio button.
Pilih Do not show hidden file, untuk menyembunyikan hidden file.
Pilih Do not show hidden or system file, untuk menyembunyikan hidden file dan file system.
Pilih Show all file, untuk menampilkan semua file termasuk hidden file dan system file.
Namun untuk keamanan file Anda, sebaiknya file-file system tetap disembunyikan. Hal ini untuk mencegah file tersebut terhapus secara tidak sengaja, terutama oleh orang yang baru belajar komputer.
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